Today we celebrate a birthday. And now we have two teenagers in the house. It hit me the other day, watching this confident, long legged, long-haired girl burst through the doors of the middle school. And in the angles of her face, I saw a glimmer of that defiant mischievous toddler she used to be. This must be a taste of what it’s like to have grown children. As they go walking about in their adult bodies, ever seeing glimpses of that exasperating adorable little person they were. The two beings forever intertwined in your mind.
One day you wake up and realize you can’t remember the last night your sleep was interrupted (we are certainly not there yet!). Or the last diaper you changed. The destruction that seemed would never end, now nothing but a distant memory. Ah, the passage of time. The fascinating evolution of a baby from toddler to child to young adult to grown. It’s a change that happens so gradually it’s imperceptible. And yet, marches on relentlessly. Too fast for my liking.
“And so you have a life that you are living only now, now and now and now,
gone before you can speak of it, and you must be thankful for living day by day,
moment by moment, in this presence.” — wendell berry
I’m feeling sentimental tonight. And thankful for living now and now and now. Today started with 13 presents and donuts for my biggest girl. I kissed my little boy’s cheeks and breathed his warm body in deep. Celebrated a new painting by my kindergartener and posted it on the fridge. Laughed at another sharing of Calvin + Hobbes comics. Comforted hurt feelings. Worked through an argument (or ten). Talked current events with my biggest boy over lunchtime prep. Read picture books to a sleepy toddler. Then with an emerging reader. Tomorrow, I’ll do it all over again. And keep on living, deeply proud of and thankful for the people growing up in my house.